Dear 2012.

I have a lot of wishes, and i wish a lot. Some of my wishes do come true, and the rest, unfulfilled. I lose nothing from unfulfilled wishes... It,s just the thoughts that failed, dream that just can't come true. Effortless.


I plan things, and i planned for weeks, months, years in advance. It is easy to plan things on your own, because you know exactly what you want, where you will be. But when planning involve person other than yourself, it seems a little bit uncertain. It involves compromise, promises and hope that it's going to happen. And what i know is, Plan isn't like a wish, at all. It is kind of frustrating when efforts you put in your plan, went into the drain.


I didnt wish to be alone, not just tonight - but for the rest of my life. But that's just a wish, and wish might be unfulfilled because, that's how it is.


I didnt plan to sit, watching the fireworks alone either. In stranger's land - no friends or familiar voices wishing me happy new year. No familiar faces around me to welcome this very new year... I'm all alone as far as i can remember...and i can't believe i am able to arrive into this phase - beyond lonesome, beyond emptiness, tonight, welcoming the new beginning of 2012.


Dear 2012, i welcome you with tears and loneliness, not because i'm leaving 2011 and its memories...but i just come to realize that i'm watching beautiful fireworks tonight just to celebrate the cracks within me is about to shatter.


....and as when the glitters in the skies subsides, i look upon dark, hollow skies and i wish.... I wish i will never felt this way again, ever.

'there are those among us who are blessed with the power to save what is loved by another. But powerless to use this blessing for love themselves'

Yea, Merry Christmas to You!

I have this wishes in my inbox, which is, kinda funny. I’ve got a Christmas wishes and serious question at the same time! I can’t help it, I must share it. Wasn’t Christmas is about sharing? So let’s share some laughter. Apparently, I received a lot of Christmas wishes just as much as ‘Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri’. Well, thanks but seriously, I didn’t celebrate Christmas. I enjoyed the public holiday and the long weekend though.  

Holiday outing with a friend with my good hair day.

Oh, you should try this Cempedak Ice Cream at Seed’s café (RM5.80) at Mid Valley, next to Chilli’s. It’s a home made ice cream. They have DURIAN too! I felt like I was somewhere in Dusun somehow when I had this. Haha. Switch to something local once in a while and the price is cheaper than Baskin Robins and any other gelato’s stall but the taste is tripleicious! It has chunks of real Cempedak inside.


Dropped by to see my Godmom’s singing for Agong 36th wedding Anniversary at Shangri-La Kuala Lumpur.

and end up having a good supper at the end of holiday :) . Thanks Ma!

Anyways, I love year end. It means the time to reap the rewards for all your hard work and contribution since January 1st is about to ripen. Be it bonus from office, ASB and many other type of investments you are into, yea, year end what you’ve been waiting for. And as for me, I invested a LOT in shopping. WTF.

Yea, that’s only a part of what I just claimed from my shopping activities in year 2011. Credit cards points, Bonuslink points, and Clarins’ Club Beaute membership points (those are normal size, worth more than RM200 and I swear on that Instant Smooth Line Correcting Concentrate. I can see the result immediately! I Heart Clarins)
Not to mentioned vouchers from Metrojaya from Metrojaya’s membership card that I received twice a year, Vouchers on the spot when you spent above RM350 and, I just banked in Nuffnang’s payout :) It’s not that much, but it’s still money.
So, who says shopping can’t be rewarding? Be Shop Right. Guys, if your wife/ girlfriend wanted to spend their money on shopping, let them be! It’s not your money anyway.


Ah, I have so much thing to do for 2012, I can’t wait, so I started it now. I don’t do new year’s resolution. That’s for the losers. If you wanna do it, just do it. No need to wait January 1st to execute it.


Knowing that another year passes by, another year older I am. Next year Im going to be XX years old (Hell no, Im not giving you any clue of what my age is, in your dream) But I decided to be 27 forever. Why 27? I still remember I was that ‘Hot Babe on the top of Her Game’ when I was 27. I like everything when  I was 27 more than 17. That’s why.


So I bought a kettlebell.

Started with 4kgs, (RM65.00) it really shows you the result in a week.
and what a cliché, people keeps on telling me I’m already skinny to be skinny. They probably think I’m mocking their size 8 and so on. WHO SAYS I WANTED TO BE SKINNY?. God knows how I want to be curvy, Kim Kardashian’s Curve. I want that booty, I want that chest! Er, No, this kettlebell won’t give you that, though. But it helps to tone that jiggly flab under your arms, waist and thigh. That’s all. It’s about toned, firmed body. Not skinny. I believed Kim Kardashian do something to keep her butt stick out like that, or else, it will wipe the floors as she walks on the red carpet when she hit XX years old.


Look at this Kettlebell Video workout. YOU CAN”T BE SKINNY BUT BETTER THAN SKINNY with this.

So when the result is out, of course, Im gonna show it off. Haters gonna hate. Eh? haha.

Merry Christmas for those celebrating it. Hope you enjoy your cookies =)

Nasi Lemak Buah Bidara....

Sayang Selasih Hamba Lurutkan...
Buang Emak, Buang Saudara Agama..
Kerana Kekasih Hamba Turutkan..

That's the only "pantun" (Malay four line poem) that came flashing into my mind when I came across the news of Ariff Alfian Rosli jumping off the broom in Dublin where he supposed to finish his study instead :(

Love is blind, Freedom to love.. border less - just like music. Love doesn't recognize colors, distance, age, religion and um.. cupid would be insane by now, seems like they shooting those love arrow with their eyes closed.

Who is the groom, which one is the bride.. groom and groom, bride and bride.. top, bottom, top & bottom.. with this ring, I thee wed.

and ladies, we lose 1 more male to another male. One less lonely man is another lonely woman added into this mad..mad world.

South Island, New Zealand : Wishes Do Come True

Before that, I just found out today that, there is one particular guy deleted me from his Facebook buddy! I don't know when he did that, I don't care, because I don't ever realized when and why we became buddy at the 1st place, oh, he read my blog.. yeah. Ummm.. Was it because I ignored his request to meet me for a movie or something? I'm sorry if I didn't interact well with ALL of my buddies in Facebook. But, is that how people deal with it? " Say YES to all my requests and you'll stay." Fuck that. It seems like people put too much hope on Facebook and treated it as online catalog for finding girlfriend to be wifey or 2nd wife. Catalog my ass. Why not you catalog yourself as "desperado looking for a wife" together with the list of properties, sickness as well as skills that can generate money. Loser.


Back to NZ, South Island trip. The main reason why I wanted to visit South Island wasn't for their rolling hills and fluffy sheep. It's for the blue snow capped mountains and milkyway. Yes, I never seen snow capped mountains in my entire life, except pictures and a lots of it. And I only saw milkyway on TV. So, when I googled about star gazing in South Island, this was the 1st image caught my eyes..

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This picture made me to know and read more about Lake Tekapo. I want to be at the exact location, under that exact skies!


It was so dark when we arrived at Lake Tekapo area. It seems like people here sleep early. It was quiet and not much street lights. We parked nowhere in the dark and all I can hear was strong wind, so strong until it shakes. I imagined that, I'd probably float into the air if I step outside.


Next morning, I stepped out and I couldn't believe my eyes...

We parked and sleep underneath that exact skies! #wishesdocometrue.


So, Lake Tekapo was the 1st official milky icy cold lake I saw in my life. It was so beautiful to me and I was busy taking hundreds pictures of it.

.. and then I remember I still have stars and milkyway left to see. Im here at the Lake, the problem is, it's early morning!


Went to Earth and Sky office to find about their stargazing program.

So, yea.. good luck with the price! And you can watch the stars if the skies, I mean weather permits! Don't fret, here, I have another contact if you really wanted to experience the stargazing tour at Tekapo Starlight as low as NZD20 and hope for clear skies! 


We proceed our journey to Mount Cook/ Aoraki as planned, and planning to cook our lunch there!

I was busy taking pictures of snow capped mountains along the drive until I saw bluish - turquoise - milky field on the right of the road. It made me screamed!

It is The GREAT LAKE PUKAKI!

Look at astronauts image from up above, how big is the lake is. With the size of 1,413km2, the size is almost 6 times of Kuala Lumpur city. 

No wonder my office mate back in my office kept telling me about the lake before Mount Cook. We don't have tailored itinerary in our hands, and we drove by ourselves. Of course it is overwhelming when you see something like this along the journey. Anyway, we must keep on going because sun light will be out by 6pm. We continue to our destination and promised that we will stop by here again on our way back from Queenstown to Christchurch.

Half of our journey to Mount Cook/Aoraki was with the sight of Lake Pukaki.

It looks like a giant cookie dough covered with sugar powder, as we get closer to the mountain. 

So close, yet so far..

Yes. Finally we are here.

and no, we didnt do the jungle trekking or mount climbing. We just cook there and basically clean our lung with serious breath in and out breathing technique :) The air is crispy fresh!

Seriously, I dont know which one is the point of Aoraki Mount Cook! Is that the one behind me? No! I DON'T KNOW!

That one? NO! I DON'T KNOW!

So, after hundreds photos were taken (urgghhh), obviously we were behind schedule until I have to forget my plan going back to Lake Tekapo for a stargazing tour. :( 


We need to reach to our next destination - Queenstown before day gets really dark..

Opps, too late, it was dark before we able to reach Queenstown! But what I tell you, about #wishesdocometrue ? 


When I was so upset thinking about the stars and milkyway that I was about to miss. "Im here already.. underneath South Island skies.. and yet.. no stars for me.." I looked outside up to the sky from the caravan window .. I saw diamonds.. million of it up in the sky! We made a stop at streets of nowhere, in the dark.. there I was..standing with no binoculars or telescope.. watching the greatest creation of God.. for free.. it was all 3D.. I can see the stars hanging down like.. I almost can touch it!


I  SAW THE STARS AND MILKYWAY WITH MY OWN EYES! *cries*

Waiting

 

“I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

No one likes waiting, people hates waiting. But to me waiting is better than letting go. You will not lose anything while doing it. Time? Time always passes by. Waiting or not, one minute now will be history in the next minute after. Waiting gives you hope, that something or someone will re appear in front of you. Waiting keeps you going, to live your day and forever. So that you are able to see something or someone you’ve been waiting for – when the wait is finally ended. While letting go is making you losing something or someone. Disappear. And you will never know whether it will come back to you, again.

 

I am good at waiting. I’ve been waiting for most of my life. That’s how it keeps me going. I know hope can be false one, but I still need it, so that I have the reason to keep me going. Knowing that I have something to do and someone to see at the end of my waiting.

For the 1st time, I bring Kiska the Husky up to my bed, to sleep with me because I feel so alone. Before this she only sit in my car and follow me, wherever I go.

 

My days are started to feel so empty. But I still got to live my life the way I did before I have you by my side. I clean the house, buy some groceries and do the laundry. I picked up my sweater to wash it, but then I smell of you all over it. My tears started to flow. I put on that dress today, the dress I wore on the 1st day I met you. I curled my hair, like it is the day to pick you up from the airport.. I drove around and found myself eating my late lunch – alone. But I know, I still have the “individualist” in me, so I can do this, because this is who I am when I am without you.

 

It’s raining now, but I hope the skies would be clear somehow, tonight. I need to see that moon. The red moon we supposed to watch it together. I hope you will too, from up above the skies and remember me. That eclipse moon is me, for now, until we will be together again..

 

Day 1 -  I miss you so so much already…

 

“It's hard being left behind. (...) It's hard to be the one who stays.”― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler's Wife

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Don’t Baby Me!

 

Stupidity, I mean love is becoming more and more cheap nowadays. In 2 days? Come on..

Or, maybe I am the one is the real stupid, maybe that was just some kind of robot, spyware which just reply the replies with the same paragraph to every girls’ inbox. And I wasted my time educating him.

I think he misspelled his name. It should be Douche. Douchebag.

Internet can be super sucked, most of the time. Urgghh.

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Im trying to finish all my trip posts – South Island, NZ (Pt. 1)

So, I know you don’t care whether I able finish all of my posts on my almost forgotten South Island, New Zealand trip, some of you already seen it all 600 photos on my facebook’s album & wall with admiration, or jealousy. But I still want to put up on here because it’s 3a.m - I can’t sleep, and I don’t know what else to do at this hour.
Ah, before that I was busy surfing Victoria Secret’s body lotion on the net. I always love anything from Victoria Secret, including their models. Well, who doesn’t?
My boss is leaving to London today so, instead of giving her trouble figuring what to buy all for of us in her every trip, so I told her what I want. I want Victoria Secret’s body cream.

This one. It’s been in my wish list forever. Candy Baby Shimmer Swirl Cream – with the smell of sugar & warm Vanilla. Just imagine how mouthwatering I can be with it! So I texted her then found out that Victoria Secret flagship store only coming to New Bond Street’s London on 2012. Sad. So, this body cream can go back to my wish list and sit there, forever.

So, back to my almost forgotten trip post. South Island, New Zealand – where no Victoria Secret’s outlet can be found. That is me, enjoying my 1st pale breakfast in Christchurch, with no smell of Victoria Secret’s body cream.


In an attempt to stick to the lowest cost trip, my girlfriend and I chose the cheapest accommodation in Christchurch, called  PointBreak, Backpackers located at New Brighton Central.


Well, when it says “cheap”, means it is so far away from city centre and city glam. But it’s ok, there was not much glam in the city centre at that point of time anyway, not after the earth quake, not when they still didn’t fix the road & buildings. It was totally closed!

The background supposed to be a Flea Market. But it was Free & Easy MYOB trip for both of us, we woke up late, continue with curling our hair - so nothing left for us anymore. Except the sight of them repacking their stuff back into the boxes.

 New Brighton Pier. It was so windy cold. I don’t know how the girl behind me can walk with shorts. I only able to smile for a few seconds, just for my camera. That’s it.

This remind me of beaches along Great Ocean Drive, Melbourne :( . Blue, icy cold, un-swimmable.

1st time I saw big Husky and felt ok with it. Although the dog is on leash instead of pulling sledge on the snow, but at least, this place cold enough for it. I hate how Malaysian and other tropical countries’ dog lovers took this dog as a pet. They are not pet. They are strong working dog. You are torturing it with your stupid apartment’s ac at 16 degree Celcius, all year round.

 Nothing much you can do in New Brighton. No big malls or awesome sightseeing or fancy architecture. One day stay at this place, will do.

Uh, they have Roxy & Quicksilver factory outlet though. So, I bought one hoodie sweater to warm me up the next day.

 We took the bus to get around the place. We need to find shopping mall to keep us alive during this trip, any trip.

 It was September, early spring in New Zealand. The flowers started to bloom everywhere. Not as great as autumn still. Freaking cold. So that’s why the flight tickets was cheap 

Waiting to embark the journey to a happy place!

Happy place – Westfield Riccarton shopping mall. It was a short happiness though! It was Sunday and they closed at 6pm! What kind of shopping mall closed at 6pm? On Sunday? Do they really know how to run a big business? All the sweet cafes in that building closed at the same time too! No muffins! No doughnuts! Urggh!


So we took the bus back to our motel. We were very afraid that the bus service end at very hours too!

We tried to spicy up our experience in Christchurch though by checking out the night life around. There are a few bars in New Brighton and people were busy watching Rugby’s match. It was All Blacks Vs Tonga, I think. Yawn.

But then we met a friend who willing to join us on our South Island trip. Yippee~!


Day 2: So left the town (town?) at 10am. All excited.

Apparently in South Island NZ, you’ve gotta leave the town to see awesome view.

The rolling hills and the sheep along the way for the first 2 hours of our trip, and few days later

We made a stop at Ashburton, for a quick grocery shopping. We cooked our own meal for the rest of the trip! Can you believe that?! Real cooking experience in South Island, NZ!

You need good muffins along your self drive trip. What to do, Im a muffin person!

Look at that yellow bushes. It come to my surprise that those bushes/ plant  or what so ever it called (seriously, I don’t know the name of it) are the unwanted plant. They been trying hard to remove it from the hills or else the sheep have no place to run & play!


It was almost dark, so we made a quick stop at – I – already – forgot – where – it – is to enjoy the sunset across the field.. it was so beautiful..

Basking under South Island sunset. Moment like this makes me happy, no matter how tired I am.

Approaching Fairlie, at last! Oh, Didn’t I tell you that we are heading to Lake Tekapo for a night? And to visit Mount Cook the next day.

It was almost dark & cold. We were hungry & tired. And now, Im starting to feel sleepy too. 4:44 am. It’s time to hit my good bed. I will continue with day 3, whenever I can’t sleep, again!