The Urban Nomad: Waiting

“I’ve learned that waiting is the most difficult bit, and I want to get used to the feeling, knowing that you’re with me, even when you’re not by my side.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

No one likes waiting, people hates waiting. But to me waiting is better than letting go. You will not lose anything while doing it. Time? Time always passes by. Waiting or not, one minute now will be history in the next minute after. Waiting gives you hope, that something or someone will re appear in front of you. Waiting keeps you going, to live your day and forever. So that you are able to see something or someone you’ve been waiting for – when the wait is finally ended. While letting go is making you losing something or someone. Disappear. And you will never know whether it will come back to you, again.

I am good at waiting. I’ve been waiting for most of my life. That’s how it keeps me going. I know hope can be false one, but I still need it, so that I have the reason to keep me going. Knowing that I have something to do and someone to see at the end of my waiting.

For the 1st time, I bring Kiska the Husky up to my bed, to sleep with me because I feel so alone. Before this she only sit in my car and follow me, wherever I go.

My days are started to feel so empty. But I still got to live my life the way I did before I have you by my side. I clean the house, buy some groceries and do the laundry. I picked up my sweater to wash it, but then I smell of you all over it. My tears started to flow. I put on that dress today, the dress I wore on the 1st day I met you. I curled my hair, like it is the day to pick you up from the airport.. I drove around and found myself eating my late lunch – alone. But I know, I still have the “individualist” in me, so I can do this, because this is who I am when I am without you.

It’s raining now, but I hope the skies would be clear somehow, tonight. I need to see that moon. The red moon we supposed to watch it together. I hope you will too, from up above the skies and remember me. That eclipse moon is me, for now, until we will be together again..