Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Get to know the TYPE of your online girl

Some men are so stupid, they take social networking site like facebook as a place for them to find a girlfriend. or worse - wifey. They treated it like an online girlfriend/wife's catalog. They look at your profile picture, send friend request and when you didn't reply his message on your inbox / refused to chat with them / tell them you are not interested, they straight remove you from the buddy list. It happened to my workmate. This guy asking her "why did you accept my friend request if you not going to be my girlfriend" and he blocked her immediately after that. LOL?

and paragraph below is for decent guys-

You are not an exceptional. Some of you are ridiculously stupid. Not that I blatantly accuse you just because I can't agree with you in many areas. You came to me with confessions  - willingly and sometimes, without you knowing it. You think you know girls very well - listing down what girls like and know exactly where to find her G spot. But seriously, at the same time you don't have a clue. That's why you think screaming girls in porn movie is the real sound of satisfaction. Your girl screaming when you do her and again, you beat your chest triumphantly like a King Kong and think you are the man. That's a FAKE ORGASMS, you moron!


Based on above paragraphs, I think I should spill some information for you what type of girls that are available for you - online. (If you still insist to find a girl - online) before you go to the next stage talking about finding her G spot or wife her.

So, I recon that you guys will check her "about me" section and find her relationship status. So you see 'SINGLE' and the next 5 second you sending her message like "Hi". (urgghh). But wait. With my diagram, now you know when or to which type of SINGLE girls you should consider to send your "Hi".
Elaboration below;




TYPE A: She put 'SINGLE'. But she not really SINGLE.
There are many of Type A out there. The reason why girls acting like this could be many. It's just for fun and she wanna have fun by toying around. She know the power of 'SINGLE' can attract mingles. This type of SINGLE will makes you go "girls can't be trusted, slick prick. I will never trust any girl again" - bah.

Some girls or people believed that when you put status other than single, they will feel less attractive. Or thinks the attention they get might be lesser since they are no longer 'available'. This type of girl we can label as ATTENTION WHORE OR ATTENTION SLUT. They think they can be the next Tila Tequila or something like that. Like their talent will get discovered by talent scout and lead them to become an actress or model (WTF?) This type of girl, they feed on compliments like "oh.. you are such a cutie.. " "you are not fat.. just stay as sexy as you are" and all kinds of comforting words came out from a STRANGER, any strangers will do. She built her self esteem through compliments by being fake. Faking her status. Attention whore don't mind displaying her private mobile phone number, everywhere.


Or

She's an opportunist. She still looking for the best and just lay her "SINGLE" status trap. And once she identify you are better than her current but hidden boyfriend, you are her next thing. Hooo.. don't think too fast that "BEST MAN WIN". YOU are better than her current boyfriend can be  - you are more "generous" than her current boyfriend in term of spending money on her hobbies & interest (which is shopping, fashion, shoes, eating out and bling bling") 


TYPE B: She put SINGLE. and yes, she is SINGLE.
You only get to know the true single and available by time. You need to spend days and months to identify that she is really single and available. Look at her posts. Look at her pictures/albums posted. Look at it how her friends responded towards her comments and jokes. You can join in the commenting and the joking, but not too obvious. Not just a "Hi", "how are you doing" "can I have your number". So, Good luck!


TYPE C: She put SINGLE and yet - she's not available
She has too many failure in her previous relationship so she's taking a long break. Her line would be "I had enough with men." "I'm tired with guys" or she just don't reply your message at all. The trust is not there and she just not ready for another relationship.

When she talks to you, and by talking, I mean she is constantly dissing men. Men this, men that, all men are bastard and laughing at your advances, well.. Oppsie, you are too late. She's already turned into a MAN HATER. Well, Good luck to you if you still want to try!

TYPE D: She put SINGLE just to pretend to be single.
Confused yet? Ha, well, told you. You never know girls, ever . So thanks to me.
She put single because she just finished a big argument with her boyfriend. Big fights, BF didn't try good enough to console her, or worse, her BF just ignore her non senses. She got so angry and so she change her relationship status into 'single' just to retaliate by putting huge guilt on her BF, or embarrassed her BF. Or worse, to get her BF's attention  Seriously, One time I had a guyfriend called me panicking  - asking me what will happen if someone took a handful of paracetamol? I told him - nothing. That person might not be able to get headache for 1 month. He mad at me for not taking his worry seriously. I replied him "I know it's your girlfriend. Tell her to text me. I teach her suicide 101. Paracetamol is not one of it.".
That's how girls do just to get attention.

or - she can be an Attention Whore as well. Please refer to Type A description.


Next - I recon there are many cases that you guys are so desperate and starting to mess around with girls who already in a relationship. I don't know whether you want to try to check the "best man win" mojo in you or maybe you are just the type of man who always thinks The other man's grass is always greener,
the sun shines brighter on the other side and sugar is always sweeter when it is not yours.

Well, don't waste your time on some random girls who is already taken without identify it according to my chart first. Thanks to me later.

TYPE E: Put Status "In a relationship" and yes she is.
You can see how in love she is. She might meet her BF everyday and yet she wrote "I miss you so much" on her BF's wall the next 10 second after her BF sent her home. And her BF do the same thing and put her picture as his profile picture. Handsoff!

TYPE F: Put status "In a relationship" but she is not.
She wants to be in a relationship so bad until she can't wait to have a real one. And believe me, some girls find it is such an embarrassment to hold a single status. They feel left out, unwanted and desperate. But she can be TYPE C too. By having "In a relationship" status, the chances of you guys bugging her will be minimized. She wanted to be single without having to said it out loud.

TYPE G: Put Status "In a relationship" with another girl.
Hah! I know. You've seen this a lot. Well, She can be a real lesbian. So your chance is off. If you able to check her albums - and it contains pretty, sexy girls, a lot. Well, she is. Honestly, lesbian have better taste than normal straight guy do. Being around lesbian ladies is like swimming in a sea of  expensive Kanebo's Sensai ultimate body cream - full of goodness and smell so good and yet you can't drink them. Yea. It's like that. And boy, you just turn them into a Hard Core Man Hater if you keep talking dirty to them.
Or, maybe she's just an Attention Whore. Because she knew how hot is lesbian girls to a straight man who dream of a threesome. She might be a Bi sex. If she's your kind, you can try by approaching her - nicely. Not nasty.

TYPE H: Put status "In a relationship" with her 2nd account (Herself)
She can be either : So full of herself. 1 account is not enough to contain her 10000 fans so she open another one or three. And its all linking and in relationship with her own self. Good luck to you if you wish becoming one of her then fan (to her man).
or she is single. By SINGLE means... you have to refer to every type of Single that I listed out earlier (Type A - D)

MARRIED.

I know some of you have some kind of fetish towards other people's wife. Weird. But true. I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist that can label people like you under mental disorder. But you sound sick to me. But hey, I must accept the fact that some people really don't mind sharing, or using other people's toothbrush. Or drinking other people's puke.

So, if you are sick enough, go on. But don't simply barge into other people's marriage just like that without identify which wife is for you.

TYPE I: Status "Married" and yes, she is happily married.
Handsoff! Yes she is cute and she has all the quality of what you've dreamed of. But look at her little kids's pictures she posted up.. the husband that cooking for her.. pictures of their family vacation. Yes she has it all you wish a girl should be. She is too nice and that is why she is taken! And who are you, a mental disorder guy who like to brush your teeth using other people's tooth brush. Bring your filthy mouth somewhere else.

TYPE J: Status "Married" but she is not married.
Well, she's in love, slept together for 100th times so she considers herself married to him. She is so firmed that now or later, he's the one that she's going to end up with. Sorry. You have no chance on her. 
or, she can be TYPE C. haha.

TYPE K: Status "Married" but she's a swinger.
Meaning, she is up to your game. She is married and yet she respond to all of your non senses, giggly. Everybody is her darlings including you. Her status is to tell you that she is not hiding. The only question left is -  Do you mind if she's already married?
You can girlfriend her, wife her and yet she is someone else's wife. She's a heaven for a sinner like you. She got what you want and you give what she wants. And yet, someone else back at her home feeding and clothing her - or, fathering your child.

TYPE L: Status "Married" but she's not happy.
You will get to know this Type L after you spend sometime with her, chatting. She need a cushion to fall into, in case she falls hard. She tells you all about her husband's shit. She's not hiding it so that her prospect future BF (you) know, what are you dealing with. Excess baggage or instant maggie mee child - whatever you would like to refer it as. But hey, it's love at the first (internet) connection and it's your heart call.
In other words, she's looking for a better option before she deciding to ditch the bad option she made :)


BUT WHAT IF SHE DIDN'T INDICATE HER STATUS???

Oh, I have a few answers for you, in summary. Blank status people are mystery and interesting. They are like a lottery ticket. Keep you betting on it and yet you don't know where you are going to win it or lose it. If you able to get one as your girlfriend - lucky you. If you are not - Try again. Heh. People with a blank status is a gambler too. They work their own fate and destiny on their current "mystery" status regardless on what other people think / belief. They truly know that in relationship - is to find / to be someone who can change her life, not just her status on Social Networking Site.



Some men are so stupid,  they look at your profile picture, send friend request and next 5 second they went ~


Okay, Im not that hot. That's must be some Nigerian guy who residing in Malaysia and he want to scam my 5 millions (WTF? Do I look like having 5 million in my bank account?). I get this eerie feelings when black guys happen to say "Hi" to me. Call me racist. I have the right to block anyone who is giving me the eerie feeling. Ima faint hearted, okay?

Im tired. I got some serious luggage packing to do. Fly off soon.
xxoo.




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