Nothing.

Just imagine the look of a little girl’s face when you flashes her a pink cotton candy or colorful swirled lollypop. Her face suddenly brightens with smile, because she thinks it’s for her. That is the most basic natural impulse between the two. You hand it out to her and she took it in a speed of light until she forgot to thank you because she is so happy. The next minute you realized you’ve made a mistake. It wasn’t for her. You go back, apologize and took it away from her hand in a very nice way (because you know it’s your fault). She is sad, but she has to accept that it wasn’t for her. People made mistake and her mom always taught her well that, she must not take whatever which is not belong to her. Just imagine how it feels when you thought you got to hold on something you like but it wasn’t for you at the 1st place. Just because, the one who gave it to you – had no clue what he was doing.

Have you ever experience the situation where, someone said something sweet and nice to you till it made your heart flutters but the next hour , the next day he took it back complete with apologize and explanation that the sweet line he poured it out actually wasn’t meant for you? In fact, you should not to hear it at the 1st place. It was a total mistake and he convinced you not once, but many times that it was said out of a wrong thoughts – some kind like out from middle of crisis’s thoughts.

I was so foolish thinking that those sweet, good words were always came out straight from the heart, and the bad one came out when you were in anger, misunderstood or in sober. And now I just realized I got it all – in a wrong way. It happened to me every time, and I still have trouble to learn about this one. I tried a little, like – to ignore those sweet sayings, assumed it was a part of a joke and now, I finally learned that, it wasn’t true anymore.

It made my heart aching so bad every time I heard all the sweet sayings from any men – because I know that they just don’t know what they were doing at that point of time. I always right, the next day they came apologized for such beautiful, sweet lines they said to me. It was a total mistake. And I am the object that always have to accept such mistakes and try to, had to let go some beautiful words which came out from their fuzzy thoughts. How cheap is that? It even wasn’t came out from a clear thought and I still had to forgive them.

And now I asked myself, what is truly left for me to hear and to believe?
“nothing”

I like it how the wind works. You don’t really need to hear it just to prove its true existence and the reason why it blows. You know it’s there and you can always feel it.

Or maybe I still prefer to listen to couple of love songs, with its beautiful lyrics and melody. I don’t mind about that – because no matter how beautiful it sounds, I knew it wasn’t written for me. But it is for the record selling.

….and now I know, love letter isn’t a part of my list to get before I die, anymore.

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