Take me as I am.

Dear Diary,
Nobody teaches me how to live this life but experience. Every road and life episode that I went through has taught me what is real and what is meant only just for a dream. I laughed when life showed me foolishness, I cried when reality hit me so bad, I fell one two many times but I got up on my own two feet and keep on walking. That is how I got my lesson in life.
Coming from a broken background made me appeared broken. I lived my life in camouflage just to survive people’s judgment and perception. But one thing I know that life is isn’t just about fulfilling expectation of others. How could you possibly satisfy other’s if you are one hollow soul. But only God knows, I do try to seal every crack in me so that I appear as a sensible person enough as to stand side by side with others.
I understand every mistake has its correction, but some mistake are meant to stay as a mistake, too, so that it can tells other people “so, this is the face of mistake, this is how mistake looks like”. That is why heaven & hell was created for. 

“Excellence” comes in a different shape and form of how others defines it or catch it in a glimpse, it didn’t lies solely on how you dress, how you talk, how you move or how you color your hair. As an ordinary person, I don’t feel the need to please everybody so that I am accepted. God knows, I do have many flaws and I am not afraid to show it, I made mistake so that I can learn from it, I want to live my life as wild and free as I can be because it content me.
Don’t love me too fast because you might hate me, and don’t hate me too soon because I might be the only one who would never judge you in whatever you do.
Don’t tell me what to do, because I don’t want to break your heart if I unable to follow. But you should know that I do the untold with all my heart till I left you with no question.
Don’t put any expectation onto me because it’s too difficult for someone like me to reach it with nothingness in me and I don’t want to put you on shame because I unable to make you proud. If you feel like I am such an embarrassment, just erase me like a coffee stain on your sleeve. I can understand.
..and don’t compare me with something fine because I am still far from being good.
Take me as I am. Please.


“Just like the butterfly, I too, will awaken in my own time”

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