Dear Love, are you for real?

“Men love young, sweet thing – slender curve, smooth skin, perky butt, a naughty, kitty kinda girl”

“Every girl must find older men as a husband, so that you will not look older than him after your 1st child.”

I’ve heard that since as far as I can remember. Men would go for young girl once there is one line of fine wrinkle appears on his gf’s / wife’s face or her boob’s slump down a bit by 5 degrees. This fact has been planted into my brain since I reached my puberty long time ago.

It scares the hell out of me. Gravely.

I couldn’t help it but terrifies because the one that I am in relationship with, younger than me. Not by 1 year or 2, but…yea, he is younger. For more than a year, he is now still trying to convince me there is nothing wrong with it and we can make it through despite my endless fret of what might happen due to men’s nature which everybody knows what it is.

It started with Demi Moore, followed by Mariah Carey and now Madonna, the age gap’s getting larger and larger. But hey, they are Hollywood’s celebrities and they can have whatever they want. I couldn’t and shouldn’t compare myself with them cuz I am just a nobody and still failing to believe this might be it.

What men see in women, older women? If it is because of money, I myself still having the difficulties in settling my long overdue credit cards. If it is because of the way mature women think and so called independent queen in handling situation, well, “flaws” is my middle name. If it is because of sexperience, well, if it is good now, but for how long will it last since men’s andropause seems like not in their dictionary. If it is because of LOVE, well, define love. True love is only for lucky ones. Not for everybody to have it. But if Truly Lust ….ah dammit.

Sometimes I said mean (but true) thing to him like “once I cant operate, what would you do? Self service until you die or what? Or just join those bastards’ club and admit it is a men’s nature?”

Sigh, just by thinking of it, I feel sad. 9 out of 10 told me it is not going to happen and ask me to come out from the Disneyland. Disneyland? I’ve been wanting to go to Disneyland since forever, without realizing that I am already in it and “goofy” is what I am….